I begin my journal writing just after I entered here in seminary. I wish to record the events that led up to this date. My story began several months ago when I began to feel an explainable urge to accept God’s call and set out on a spiritual journey. I felt a surge of excitement. Indeed, it was a great adventure to be on a quest.
I have been slain a thousand times, but I have risen again. These old wounds are the source of my power and might. Our greatest and worst enemies are not monsters who roam the forest or even wicked witches and evil wizards. No, it is our scars, our wounds and old injuries that we fear. As we journey through life we all have injured- hurt by parents, brothers or sisters, schoolmates, strangers, lovers, teachers…the possible list of the guilty is long. Our wounds speak, however, with crooked voices because of the scars. All of us have wounds- old ones and new ones. How can our wounds become our source of power?
First, we must not give in to the voice of our scars, the voice of the times we trusted and were betrayed, loved and were rejected, did our best and laughed at. Do not give weight to the scars left because we were slighted or were made to fell less than others. Instead, when those voice call to you to react with envious or jealous feelings, do exactly the opposite. When they say, ‘run away’ you must stay. When they say ‘distance your self’ then move closer. We must transform their power and not destroy it!
All quests begin with some question. Great quests begin naturally with great questions; ‘Why am I not happy?’ ‘Why do I want to be a priest?’ ‘How do I find happiness?’ That’s what we’re questing for happiness. And happiness, health, holiness, and all the rest come only when we have made our injuries into glorious wounds.
“Hello stranger. You look like you’re lost. Can I be of any assistance?” asked the man in a voice tinged with tiredness.
I stopped dead in my tracks, “Well, er… Yes, I am lost, I must confess. But I am on a quest, you see, and from all I have read it seems that people who are on a quest are frequently lost.”