Still…

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The day is cloudy- the low gray sky helps me to be still. I still don’t think it will be easy to decide when to be flexible and when to remain true to my commitments. But once I have accepted the fact that it isn’t going to be easy, I will be amazed at how much less difficult it becomes.

I have tried all months not to run away from the pain of sacrifices, choices and decisions but to embrace them instead. As I sit here writing, I feel a slight change in my way of relating to my family and relatives. They don’t understand why I came here in the seminary, but as I’m here they don’t seem to mind.

The question still uppermost in my mind is, ‘Why the journey?’ ‘Why the seminary?’

Yes, that’s what keeps bobbing up down in the dark pool of my mind.

I sat with my eyes tightly closed, for they filled with tears when I thought of my parents and how someday soon that would grow old without someone who cares. Slowly I open my eyes, I told myself as lone tear wandered down my cheek, “I want some time to think about it”

Yes, that would be important. For it is love that calls me on this journey. It is love that makes the Quest a homecoming, and it is love that is my source of energy to continue my journey.

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