There are lots of people at my age who are dating or have dated. During my high school days I felt like I’m in love. It feels like my heart skips a beat when the girl I like walks by and I have to look in different way or I’ll start blushing. I don’t know how to explain it. All I know is that she occupies my every thought. All I want is for her to be truly happy. I care about her deeply, and when she‘s upset, I felt the pain too. Every time I see her smile, it makes my day. But I really don’t have the courage to tell my feelings for her- I just felt diffident about it.
Often I encounter what feels like a gaping hole: the craving to have companionship that goes beyond calling someone a friend. I know God created this desire in me because He said, “It is not good that man should be alone”. (Genesis 2:18) I am convinced that love is the most amazing feeling: you’re just happy all the time, you just find yourself smiling for no reason. I love the fact that you have someone to sleep next to at night, the way if you’re cold you can just snuggle up next to that person and get warm again (like a little personal heater.) I like the thought when the lovers argue about nothing at all and in the end they end up laughing because it was so stupid.
Falling in love is but a normal experience in each ones life. Each one is entitled to feel it. It is a touch of ones humanity, a touch of ones normality. Falling in love is not a clairvoyant activity. It is not dealing with an extraterrestrial being. It is not away from our reach. It is just an ordinary happening for human beings. I say human beings! That includes me…that include us seminarians! Of course! It is a healthy thing because it affirms our sexuality and our humanity. It is an opportunity to grow with our emotions. There is nothing wrong if you fall in love. What is wrong perhaps is how you manage your emotions. Agree?
It is an undeniable fact that falling in love is an impulsive one. That’s why some seminarians get crazy up to the point of no return – of giving up his vocation without even giving space to reflect or discern. Maybe this is the reason why people say that seminarians should not have this kind of feeling of falling in love with the opposite sex. However we don’t have to restrain or quell the feeling. That’s not healthy. We’ll become crazier in that sense. Instead of suppressing it we need to control our emotions for us to appreciate more its value.
It is true that love is but a normal experience and yet it is a mystery in every one’s life. To love is a mystery. Love is the ultimate riddle we never solve. We don’t know when it will happen or how will it come. We won’t even know if it will work out or fail. But just be sure to look at it as a means of learning; an experience to help us grow emotionally, an experience of getting in touch with ourselves, with our heart. There are only two options to choose from, whether to accept or disallow. After all, there’s no merit in rejection. So, accept it! Don’t be a coward pretending to be unaffected with those eye-catching, irresistible, alluring ladies walking in front of us. But deep inside us it’s like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour!
It is in loving that we appreciate our self-realization as a human person, the quest for our true self and our happiness. ‘I loved because I want to become what I want to be; I want to be where I will be happy. In loving that I will help myself realize my own personality and vocation in life.’ Love wants our freedom to become fully human – to become our real self. In falling in love, we do not discover values; we discover that everything is more valuable. So why not dare to fall in love?