I also admired the kind of love I cherrished with my Grandma. Something that lasted for 20 sweet years. I often told myself that her life was I fervently pray to have – simple, sincere, lasting, abounding in love, courage and understanding. The day my Grandma died, my heart broke, not only for my own grief, but for the grief of seeing such a blessed Nanay come to a sudden end right before my eyes.
How indeed are we going to go about our lives after her passing? How do we let go? How do we spend our late evenings without her stories? What do you do when you grieve the loss of a loved one?
The seat she occupied at dinner will remain vacant thereafter. The sight of embracing her will be nothing more but a sweet memory to look back to. Living through loss, healing, letting go, those words seemed so distant before it happened in my own life.
The funny thing was, I never really considered her old. She had always been strong and healthy and happy. I thought she’d always be there, for me, for everyone who has ever gotten to know the wonderful person she is. But I guess death is like that. It takes from you in an instant the people you’ve cherrished for a whole lifetime. Just like that. As simple as that. And you are suddenly left with two things: anger for having been deprived of your beloved for no reason at all; and emptiness, a vacuum that gnaws right at your heart where all the joyful moments once had been.
Words of sympathy are often not enough when we need spiritual heartfelt healing. May we find comfort in believing that God is always there for us, and that he will take care of us and the ones we love even if we cannot see how for now. Heaven sees our every tear and hears our every cry to God. Pray for my Nanay.
1 The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
2 He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
3 He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
4 Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.
5 You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.
6 Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord