those were the days my friend…

In a world where ones worth is measured by what it possess, people who are not given much tend to look at themselves at less fortunate…

I often come to the point of my life of asking my worth…Why God had called me- a worthless, good for nothing, and will go unnoticed if I’m gone. There are many talented, good looking, intelligent young men out there who can contribute much for His church.

Well, practically, I cannot sing but trying…I cannot play the musical instrument, I am not good in sports, I cannot dance, I cannot ace the exam…Why me?

What does God sees in me that my very own eyes can’t notice?

True, Jesus was not a dancer…a singer…an entertainer. He didn’t write books or play the guitar.

Jesus was just like me… Jesus was just like us…

_____________________________________________________________

A week ago, I met my high school teacher; we rode in a same bus… I sat beside her; she asked me what I am now…if I already graduated and found a decent job.  “Ma’am, nag seminarian man ko…”  Her eyes grow big, and slapped my shoulder. She supposed to laugh…yet she held herself to do so…

“Well Khim, you always surprise me”, she said…like when your high school…”

We had a short chit chat, we reminisced the days way back high school and I shared to her bits and glimpse of my seminary life…

Ma’am had dropped off a kilometer away yet the thoughts of my high school years are flooding in the dark pool of my mind.

I keep on thinking how I manage to pass high school. Well, practically I was neither a dull student nor a slow learner…I’ve been in regional to national competitions which became my ticket to visit different places from the archipelago. I’m not bragging or something…but when I was younger…from grade 1 to first year high school I always stayed on the top of my class.

I used to be a competitive…my sister and I had this mentality of not just reaching a cut off grade but rather excel to its fullest. She earned her degree with flying colors…while her younger brother was struggling to survive high school.

My teachers were so disappointed…and my classmates were sad…they thought I was depressed for a death of a relative or even presumed that I was in love. Indeed, I was in love with someone who exists next to our school… the computer cafe.

In the cyber world, I became a hero… a very cool hero. In my school they would name me a nerd, geek…I used to wear spectacles that time, trust me it wasn’t cool at all. My school mates from the lower section and I would climb through a fence. Yes, it’s true…the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence.

I enjoyed playing or grinding my hero rather than studying. Dramatically, my grades dropped and turned red…

From 2nd year to 4th year even to my early entry to college, my life evolved in the cyber world… I had a perfect attendance in the internet café rather than my class.

I used to dream to be a lawyer but during those years even becoming a computer attendant was a luxury for me.

In order to support my obsession…I had to tell lies by asking over priced projects to not paying my tuition fees. I was addicted but during those years I don’t accept the term…I’m just simply a modern kid, it’s a way cooler.

Before graduation there were seminarians from the Salessian congregation who had their vocation campaign…I was hesitant to take the entrance exam at first. But since all male students were required to take, I can’t help myself but give it a shot.

I received the letter of admission. I passed…but I didn’t open the letter…I was simply uninterested. I know how strict seminary discipline is…and surely I’ll die in boredom having to cut off my relationship with the cyber world.

How did I survive high school?

Not through my very own effort of course…but by the mercy of my teachers. I owe them what I am now.

The very teacher who sat beside was one of them. Oh, I remember, she’s the one who asked me what I want after graduation…if I’m going to be a priest just like my uncle…

I told her, “ma’am ingon si papa na maayo daw nga magminyo ko kay ako ra may lake…para mabuhi pa ang among apilyedo”…

I smiled at those thoughts of long ago…How different I am now. With the span of time of my seminary formation, I come to understand that we become good and holy seminarians not because of our OWN efforts, or the efforts of our Formators, but ONLY by the grace of God, and the intercession of HIS blessed Mother.

Through the prayers of our love ones, we come to endure the tides and waves of difficulties, inconveniences, and struggles.

Our community is composed of good men who responded to
God’s invitation. Who chose God above all things and offer our very self for the greater glory of His name.

Despite that sometimes we forget to live on what is ideal on what is required of us…but what matters most is to stand up after our fall because God sees in us that we deserve nothing less but only the best.

God knows that we are far better that what we are right now…

When we are reprimanded or disturbed by our brothers concern. Let’s look at it as an opportunity to become better, to actualize our full potential. Besides, we are family. Just like in the gospel, Jesus reprimanded the scribes and Pharisee because He loves them…

Semester is about to an end…and maybe some of us will be traveling to a new road that God had prepared for them…

Don’t worry if we get lost…besides a traveler always gets lost on his search…

Whatever roads we take…God invited us to be his travel companion…

Life is a search…a treasure hunt…and God is our ultimate price.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s