love…blah blah blah

I’ll never forget her or that night. She was standing in the corner, wearing a red dress whose hem was high above her knees. With her lips painted to match her dress, she smiled at each passer-by. Her eyes filled with invitation called out to one and all. Now keep in mind that I’m not the sort of teenager who takes up with that kind of woman, but those eyes…and those lips, slightly curved in a smile that held the promise of delights beyond imaginations.

She called me…I was hesitant at first, what will people might think about it. They may get the wrong impression about me or even run over a radio station crafting scandalous stories about my company with her. Even my assistant priest was one of their victims…and it made me think that I will not be spared from their copious cruelty.

I invited her for a lomi…that would be a safest thing to do. I’d noticed people raising their eyebrows on us; and their eyes…are like daggers ready to slice me.

So, we waited a couple of minutes for our hot bowl of lomi. I was silent…I was taught very well by my mother never to talk to strangers…and I did

Silence was disturbed by sips and sighs, sweats were racing down from  my forehead. Honestly, I was dead nervous… I looked at her…she looked in her early thirties; a couple of wrinkles were covered up with her thick makeup. Her hair cuddled with the same smell of my mother’s hair conditioner.

Then she broke the silence…

She asked me if I am a seminarian…Yes, I replied softly and people who shared the little space we have are now looking intently at me. “I saw you in the church…you gave a good reflection”, she said. Thank you was my respond…her knowledge about me made me safer now, she knew that I wasn’t ordinary guy at all…that there’s a wall that divides us.

I resume eating my share of bowl when she said, “You know, I have a seminarian-boyfriend before”

Her declaration made me choke…Is it forbidden for seminarians to have a girlfriend, she asked me in her enticing voice? It’s not encouraged nor discouraged was my reply…

In my head, I was a bit curious how their relationship started and if it ends well?

We broke up after he finished college…I’m expecting that it would happened. I know that he doesn’t love God less when he’s with me.

I don’t like seminarians…they’re liars! Her rash comments about the few good men that I belong to, caught me off-guard. I tried to tell her that not all- that there are few who tried to be faithful with their vocation. But I chose silence. No need to explain it to her…she was very hurt…and all I can do is to listen to her heartaches.

I told her that I don’t like them too…but God loves them. And God loves you too…

Now my remarks somewhat cast silence on her…she pauses and thinks deep.

Then she asked me if I have a girlfriend…Single since birth I said jokingly…She smiled back at me…but why? I was a bit shy telling her…it’s only my mum who asked me those silly personal questions…I choose not to.

 It’s mid-morning when we depart. I’ve sat in silence and listening to her joys and share of aches.

We parted our ways and my heart and head are now too full of thoughts. They thunder inside me, and it’s impossible to be quite-but I’m trying.

Everyone wants to be loved and everyone wants someone to love, sometimes we think that we are in love and other times it is just plain lust that drives our emotions. Love is never self-seeking, never broods over past injuries. It knows no limits, and that means there is no point where it stops and says, “That’s it, no more!

There’s only one kind of love that can fill us up, make us whole, and give us the happiness we all want: unconditional love. It is unconditional love that we all seek, and somehow we intuitively realize that anything other than that this kind of love isn’t really love at all—it’s an imitation of the real thing.

Jesus did it. Why can’t we?


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