I had planned to spend my Christmas break in a Trappist monastery in Guimaras. I have decided just where I want to go, I would go to some quiet place, and spend days reading and writing and praying and meditating.
I need this support, this nearness of those who really love Christ so much that they seemed to see Him. I need to be with people whose every action will tell me of Someone who’s waiting for me.
I want to go on to the path He has set for me. Love God and continue to pray for Him more. I have arisen and started on a journey that seeks Him. I have begun to travel that road that will lead me to sell all and buy the pearl of great price.
There is something in my bones that tells me that I ought to find out whether my intense desire to lead this kind of life in some monastery are illusions. I realize that this will be the best time to take that problem by the horns and overcome it, not by my own efforts and meditations but by prayer and advice of an experienced priest. And where will I find anyone more experienced in such matters than in a monastery of contemplatives?
I no longer needed to get something, I needed to give something. I feel, day after day, feeling more and more like the young man with great possessions, who came to Christ asking for eternal life, saying he had kept the commandments asking, “What is yet wanting me?” Had Christ said to me: Go sell what you have, and give to the poor, and come follow me?
As the days of my seminary life is shortened, it seemed to me that this is what He is asking of me.
It would be the best Christmas gift I ever have.