Nobody told me that love never fades, that love never expires but just simply sleeps, and when the right moment comes…you know it’s magic.
I met her in the church on New Year’s Eve where I serve for the Midnight Mass in honor of Mary, the Mother of God. She wore a black dress with strips of white in between. She looked at me and I looked at her too. She never change and so my feelings for her. I used to sleep with thoughts of her. I look forward to those moments alone, hours of endless conversations, making plans to meet up, just sitting silently reveling in that feeling.
Oh and the countless hours of sleeping late.
Do you remember that moment when you just “knew” you had fallen hard?
You just knew this is the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?
It is certainly not the person, or even the life, I had envisioned as a young boy, yet, it is exciting, new, frustrating yet calming at the same time…
Ah….falling in love
There is a line in the movie, As Good as it Gets, when Jack Nicholson says: “You make me want to be a better man” and I believe that sums things up…when you truly fall in love it makes you WANT to be a better person not searching to be better to get something but truly, honestly, from the heart WANTS to be better that is what falling in love feels like.
One of the greatest feelings ever.
So she dragged me to spend the New Year with her. We hopped with our friend’s house and talked and talked; patching things up…trying to update oneself from the whole years experience one has gain. It was great, especially seeing her. We drove around the boulevard spending the nights (or dawn) together. We took pictures…trying to capture the moment…and in my part, trying to save what’s left in my heart’s microchip.
I have fallen in love without taking a step. I am all wrong for her and I know it, but I can no longer care for my thoughts unless they are thoughts of her. When I am close to her I feel her hair brush my cheek when it does not. I look away from her sometimes, and then I look back.
She sent me home and said goodbyes. She had to leave now…she needs to be with him now… And when she’s away I’ll send my heart back to sleep. I know we will meet again…
On New Year’s Eve.