Heart’s longing

I strive to grow in my vocation.

I stand watchful over the changing landscape of my life. From here I can see the springtime of promise. I can feel the surging hopes and the sharp, fresh edges of my dreams.

This year’s formation has changed me.

I am more patient now. Like the crops in the field, I know that there are times to act and times to wait. The seeds I have planted will blossom only when they will, and nothing I can do will rush them.

I am clearer. My youthful desires and dreams have settled into simpler truths, and common kindness seems enough. I know what is my heart’s deepest desire…I know now where my heart is.

I bear burdens more gladly. The joyous weights of being a seminarian have softened my heart, and I more willing to embrace the obstacles and limitations of the life I am striving to faithfully live out. Allowing myself to be surprised by God.

And I know more of love, because I have experienced it day by day, through the joy of friendship my brothers generously shares… and I treat it with more respect.

I learned that my own growth cannot take place without growing with others. God may chose me individually but He wants me to come together, rubbing elbows with…to allow me to come to deeper maturity.

But most of all, I am gentler with myself and others, because I know something now of grace – how much my life is a product of touch, of glance, of mercy, of forgiveness, of God’s surprises.

And so I am thankful. The chances I have received seem more gifts and less likely my due. But, there are times, when I, too, have been too self-absorbed, like the barren soil, producing nothing, empty of love.

But behind all these, I am looking forward with the eyes of hope. Trusting in God’s grace, more willing and courageous to a new adventure ahead of me.