the CALL

The call was there, but I wasn’t listening. For several years, I was studying a degree in college and enjoy the company of my family and friends, but I knew that there was something else I was supposed to be doing with my life. Kneeling at Mass and watching the priest elevate the host; I knew that this is what I called to do.

Though unworthy we all respond to the call of God. The first inclination came when we personally experience God’s love, and in that special moment, we had made a promise to offer ourselves for Him- to live and die for Christ.

So, we decided to give seminary a chance. We inquired; we took the entrance exam and prayed that we may pass the interview. Through God’s grace and mercy, He accepted us and let us experienced a life of a seminarian- a life that is consecrated to God and ONLY to God.

Some had started the journey about 5, 4, or years ago, and for some less than a month. Some are still pursuing their dreams to become holy priests, yet some had given priesthood a break- a rest.

Seminary life is hard. Oh, let me rephrase that: Seminary life is very hard. There are lots of things to be done in a very limited time. I entered the seminary in 2009, and in that year, the Holy Father declared it as Year of Priest, and with my entry, I never been happier.

A seminarian’s joy can never be found in recognition, in medals, in material possession but rather in ordinary things- through the eyes of faith, seeing the ordinary extraordinary- When one hears God’s song of love in a chirp of a bird, His playfulness in the dancing rain, and His care in warmth sunshine.

Jesus had said, unless a seed dies, it will never bear fruit. So, we who aspire to be like Christ must die. We must bring death to our selfishness, to our pride, our wants, our very selves.

Though it is not easy, but that is something we can do, and with God it is very possible. Indeed, dying is the heart of our call. By dying, we become saints to our brothers and sisters.

Though we participate in the Divine Plan, God will test us with struggles and disappointments, with worries and anxieties- and of course homesickness. And only those who are strong can survive- only those who pray more can live and continue to struggle.

Live on what you believe. Trust in Divine Providence. Aspire to become saints. As a Franciscan monk once told me, “Saints are made at the foot of the tabernacle; it is where our Mother Mary leads us”.

Today, we celebrate the Solemnity of Body and Blood of Christ. In the Eucharist, we are encountering and experiencing Jesus himself. It is He, our Lord and Master, who called us, and sent us out, to bring to others what we have received, to share Jesus with others and to be Jesus to the world around us.

Having enjoyed the benefits of my identiy, I sometiems get worried of getting regency. What will be the reaction of my family and friends?

But the issue had been patch up. Through prayers and reflections , the feeling underwent a natural death. I have lesser fear of getting regency now. The truth of the matter lies on the understanding of one’s real worth. My being a seminarian is only an ccidental  nature of the real me.  There are more in me that I will soon discover as years grow by. I am still in the processs of becoming something greater than what I am today.

In the future, I may become a writer, a teacher, a monk or a priest; the decision lies not on what my family think what’s best for me, but rather on what makes me truly happy.

I don’t know what tomorrow brings me, but I am certain that everyday is a oppurtunity, a blessing, a gift, to finally meet my true self.

I presume all of us wants a happy life, full of all that is right, good and true. But what in fact happens? Well, sometimes life can turn out to be not quite as beautiful as we would wish. Time of real testing come along, our dreams seems shattered; we begin to question the value of life: is still beautiful, despite all?

A NEW PERSPECTIVE

Anything is possible in life if we have the right attitude to whatever happens, no matter how dreadful the situation is. The best is yet to come and whether it comes or not, it will depend on our perspective. There are many good things going on, there are many positive developments. Seminarians, for example, are more aware today the importance of fraternity and equality, and many are willing to struggle to defend it. These bring us together, despite our differences. Much is being done to overcome, at least lessen mediocrity; there is a growing sense of excellence. And yet, of we are honest, we have to admit that there is bad news too. Some are still in the process of knowing oneself; some seminarian’s insensitiveness and immaturities may damage or harm the community.

GETTING MY WAY

What explain these contradictions? One factor is certainly this: We live in a culture that tends to give greater value of ourselves than others. Seminarians cheat to pass the exam or stay at the top of their class. Seminarians tell lies to save himself from inconviences and responsibilities. Seminarians manipulate to get what they want for their own ends. Some slip into thinking that self-fulfillment equals self-affirmation, that to be happy is to make oneself “number one”, to place oneself at the center. When this happens, we start deciding whether things are good or bad by the advantage that we can personally get out of them. We think of ourselves more as an individual than as persons in relationship, and we struggle against anyone or anything that stands in the way of achieving our plans and goals.

IDEAL SEMINARIAN

So what is an ideal seminarian? A person who has learned to think of others before thinking of self; a person who has learned to read reality with the eyes of hope, seeing beyond the immediate, and so he is able to discover the good, the lovely, to know, that despite all, life is beautiful.